Are We There Yet? vol. 262
In the novel Birnam Wood by Eleanor Catton, the main character, Mira, comments on how she apologizes for everything and that perhaps replacing “I’m sorry” with “Thank you” might be more appropriate and healthier for her.
We all know people who apologize even when the person to whom they are speaking is complimenting them. It might be a comment on a dinner such as “This is a fantastic dinner” and the person’s response might be, “Well, it might have needed more of this or that seasoning.” I’m not sure why some people don’t accept compliments very well, but it may be that they are trying to be humble or perhaps that the person delivering the compliment is just complimenting them to make them feel good.
If you are one of those people who struggles to accept compliments, consider a more positive response. First, you could just say thank you when complimented. In the normal course of conversation, saying “thank you for your time” rather than “sorry to bother you” is just a more positive statement. Positive psychology research suggests that there are benefits for both parties when the dialogue is more positive. The speaker feels more in control while the listener has a more positive experience.
If you find yourself making negative statements, try to think of a way to adjust them to be more positive.
Take care and stay safe.
BOOK:
Naples 1944: War, Liberation and Chaos by Keith Lowe
In Naples 1944, Lowe brings readers another masterful chronicle of the terrible and often unexpected consequences of war. Even before the fall of Mussolini, Naples was a place of great contrasts filled with palaces and slums, beloved cuisine and widespread hunger. After the Allied liberation, these contrasts made the city instantly notorious. Compared to the starving population, Allied soldiers were staggeringly wealthy. For a packet of cigarettes, even the lowest ranks could buy themselves a watch, a new suit or a woman for the night. As the biggest port in Allied hands, Naples quickly became the center of Italy’s black market and has remained so ever since. Within just a few months the Camorra began to re-establish itself. Behind the chaos and the corruption, there was always the threat of violence. Army guns were looted and traded. Gangs of street kids fought running battles with the military police. Public buildings, booby-trapped by departing Germans, began to explode, seemingly spontaneously.
Then in March 1944 - like an omen - Vesuvius erupted. Naples was the first major European city to be liberated by the Allies. What they found there would set a template for the whole of the rest of Europe in the years to come. Keith Lowe’s Naples 1944 is a page-turning book about a city on the brink of chaos and glimpse into the dark heart of postwar Italy.
Learn more about Bob Len here.
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